Why do I care what I look like?

So today's post is going to be a little deep and more serious than my usual posts. Lately I've been kind of questioning why I care what I look like and why I put on make up.

For some reason, I don't love sharing my love of make up with my parents or anything... but I mean it happens, I wear make up a lot, I buy make up a lot and they know that. And like I don't want them thinking I'm doing this because I'm insecure or anything. I don't know... it seems weird but I never wanted them to think I cared all that much, when I clearly care a little bit at least. 

And one way I kind of feel like I like wearing make up and kind of taking time to get ready in the mornings is that I feel like its a creative thing to do to start the day. Even if I follow someone else's tutorial, or if I do the same basic make up routine every day... I just feel like there's something creative about taking my natural face and then putting stuff on it to make it shiny and to have different colors. I like knowing what color combinations work and which ones don't work. I like watching youtube videos and knowing about different people's favorite things and why it works for their skin and skin type. It's just like I'm doing these things to kind of learn how things work and what's good for skin and bad for skin. I have dry skin, what should I do for that, what should I avoid. I like reading mystery novels because I feel like I can remember things better, I'm more observant and I feel like I'm smarter and more powerful that way. That is kind of similar to me wanting to try new things and use my face as a canvas to see how they all look. 

So does that mean I care what I look like? To an extent I guess. If I thought I looked really bad or something I'd be upset, but I think I'm really really ridiculously good looking. I've had random guys on trains tell me I'm beautiful or pretty twice recently... and I think thats a horrible way to approach someone. I know I'm pretty, I don't really care what anyone else thinks, I'm not going to start a relationship with someone if they just judge me based on my looks. Talk to me, and if you can stand me talking about 1) The Muppets 2) Bad Movies 3) Arrested Development/Parks and Rec... comedy in general but my idea of what is funny and what's just stupid 4) my love of David Bowie... then go ahead, but if you can't GTFO! Lol.

Also yeah, I get that you can't just expect someone to see you think "hey I wonder what that girls personality is like" and then start talking not based on looks whatsoever... but I don't want someone coming up to me, talking about my looks and nothing else. Its basically the same to tell someone you don't know "You're beautiful" as it is to say "Eww." I know what I look like and who I am, I don't need a stranger telling me.

And just a slightly related side note: I hate when guys don't understand why women don't like catcalling. I made a joke about the video of the woman getting catcalled. I said I wonder if they had tried to do that segment for months and every woman that was like "I'll do it" didn't get catcalled on their way home... cause lets face it... that totally happens too! I know if I worked at that news place and had volunteered this is probably how it would go:

Producers: So who can do this catcalling story.
Me: I'll do it.
Producers: Anyone?
Me: I can Do it!
Producers: So no one is doing it...

Lol. And thats the kind of fucked up thing that catcalling does to women. We're creeped out by it, it makes us feel uncomfortable but at the same time if its not happening that can't be a good thing. So yeah we don't actually like it one bit. Also sure it starts out as catcalling, but women also get murdered a lot. So... we're scared genuinely scared.

All in all, if you like the way I look try to get to know me first. Ask me a question about myself. If its interesting to you, I'll know and want to talk to you more if you are interesting yourself. Thats all I care about from others. And if I think I look okay, good, pretty or beautiful myself, that is really all the confidence I need. So that is why I guess I care what I look like? Maybe that doesn't make sense, but thats what I think the important things are.

I don't mean to make this all about "what do guys think of me" but its something I've been noticing a lot lately and I figured I'd post it on this blog. I don't really want to talk about anything too personal like if I'm single or in a relationship. This is just based on what strangers think of me and why I don't care.

Also I am not in any means trying to brag, this thing doesn't happen often and it happened twice in two days... so its something you take note of lol.

Byeee!
-Shannon